The other day I was inspired yet again to search around for clever portmanteau words (words created from the combination of words and meanings, such as smoke + fog = smog) and assemble a list of my favorites:
Afterthoughtfulness: A husband's uncanny ability to ask if his wife needs help with a household task at the exact moment that she is finishing it.
Alcoholiday: A weekend entirely lost as a result of excessive drinking.
Amabergasted: My sister was amazed and flabbergasted I had nerded out enough to assemble a list of my favorite portmanteaus.
Begetcetera: Multiple births.
Brickormortis: A bad housing market.
Cinemaddict: Someone who feels the insatiable need to a) constantly attend the movie theater or b) buy every new movie that comes out on DVD.
Convenieccino: When you don't have time to make coffee in the morning so instead you purchase cappuccino from the gas station.
Ethiccup: A brief, involuntary suspension of one's moral principles.
Euphemistress: One's "niece."
Foxymoron: A perfect 10 in looks and IQ.
Hasbian: She used to be a lesbian.
Leotarp: Plus-sized workout wear.
Malaproposition: "Hey, babe, want to preamble over to my place and copopulate?"
Mantastic: A fantastic man.
Mulligangster: A hit man who is afforded a second shot when his first is not successful.
Orgasmithsonian: A museum of pornography.
Penultimatum: I'm going to tell you this only one more time after this . . .
Prostituition: A whorrible way to pay for college.
Punditto: Talking heads who keep agreeing with each other.
Teatery: A Hooters restaurant.
Slothello: A quick tempered Moor who, overcome with jealousy, wants to kill his wife, his friend and himself, but never gets around to it.
Smirting: Flirting while on your smoke break.
Snatulence: The embarrassing and involuntary event when you expell air from the hind end while sneezing.
Splog: A spammy blog.
Subterraneanderthal: A subway groper.
Swipeout: When you've maxed out all your credit cards.
Tatooth: When someone's adorned their teeth with gold initials, diamonds or the like.